Ok. I well and truly did not know what to title this post. But I have thought so much about this and I am now totally puzzled.
It is so refreshing and heartening when someone does something that increases my regard for them so much. Not that I did not already adore and respect the person. But certain acts/words are so effective that its like a reflex reaction that I can`t but regard him more. And when it involves immense guts, chalk up a double dose of regard from me! As I always say and have blogged about it before, I continually need something like this to restore my faith in people. Where I have only seen in the past few months that people who mattered to me fell so much from the place I had for them, made me lose the level of respect, adoration and admiration I had for them, such teeny weeny events are a big leap for me.
In my case, this regard/respect for a person is linked so much his/her integrity. From this stems trust. And when someone who matters falls from the place/respect/regard I hold for him/her, it weakens my belief system. And that causes me to judge them for what they did.....much against my better judgment.
And when such little acts happen, it causes me to think. So much so that it drains me out. And its harder because my mind is at work and my brain is cranking underneath the normal facade I am trying to maintain.
A depth of personality and character is hard to find. Mainly because the person has been judged and the case closed before the depth has been assessed. Only those who stay long enough to see the core are lucky to get to know the person completely.
I am lost for words beyond this. I think is enough psychobabble for one post.
Over and Out
Bugs
Solitude
Re posted from my old blog, just so that I don't lose it.
Silence, all around me,
As tranquil as it could be-
that I felt I could hear the grass grow.
Silence – that was music to my ears
Yet this music gives my eyes, tears.
Not a single soul in my vision,
Only the grass stretched endlessly,
Or so it seemed.
And me, the sole inhabitant
Of my own kingdom,
Reveled in the company of only my thoughts.
This feeling I crave for
And yet detest
When loneliness envelops me
Like a shroud on a dead.
As I gaze into oblivion,
Solitude puzzles me -
A feeling that nobody’s there,
And yet everybody I need is present!
Silence, all around me,
As tranquil as it could be-
that I felt I could hear the grass grow.
Silence – that was music to my ears
Yet this music gives my eyes, tears.
Not a single soul in my vision,
Only the grass stretched endlessly,
Or so it seemed.
And me, the sole inhabitant
Of my own kingdom,
Reveled in the company of only my thoughts.
This feeling I crave for
And yet detest
When loneliness envelops me
Like a shroud on a dead.
As I gaze into oblivion,
Solitude puzzles me -
A feeling that nobody’s there,
And yet everybody I need is present!
Enigma
Something I wrote for some poetry event (can`t remember what) and as usual never sent it in. Found it in my drafts today. So posting it.
She floats into the room,
Many eyes turn to look at her.
While all look, some strive to see,
what lies beneath.
She boldly meets your eyes, but
they only mirror you.
You feel like you have bared your soul,
and been stripped from within.
She is cloaked in beauty -
Deep and mystic,
Shrouded in charm so magnetic -
you are caught in her spell,
in a dizzy surrender,
down you plunge,
you want to run,for help -
But you are rooted.
You can`t help but notice her,
You can touch her but you cannot feel,
She`s frigid but you feel the heat -
But it sends icy shivers down your spine.
She`s smooth and sleek as black velvet,
bathed in dark, pale moonlight.
Yet she shimmers like a mirage,
on a bright hot day.
And then you realize,
she is all but an illusion,
She stands right in front of you,
yet she could be as well an invisible force,
And then it hits you,
She is an Enigma!
She floats into the room,
Many eyes turn to look at her.
While all look, some strive to see,
what lies beneath.
She boldly meets your eyes, but
they only mirror you.
You feel like you have bared your soul,
and been stripped from within.
She is cloaked in beauty -
Deep and mystic,
Shrouded in charm so magnetic -
you are caught in her spell,
in a dizzy surrender,
down you plunge,
you want to run,for help -
But you are rooted.
You can`t help but notice her,
You can touch her but you cannot feel,
She`s frigid but you feel the heat -
But it sends icy shivers down your spine.
She`s smooth and sleek as black velvet,
bathed in dark, pale moonlight.
Yet she shimmers like a mirage,
on a bright hot day.
And then you realize,
she is all but an illusion,
She stands right in front of you,
yet she could be as well an invisible force,
And then it hits you,
She is an Enigma!
So near, so near all the time, for far too long...
But yet so far.
And now, far away, far away, so far away
But yet so near.
That is what we skeptics call "story of our lives". Some believers may refer to it as "irony", "destiny" and other such similar terms. I could call it coincidence, but it just takes away that hint of the mystic which I would prefer to have at least for future story-telling rights on the blog, one way or the other.
But yet so far.
And now, far away, far away, so far away
But yet so near.
That is what we skeptics call "story of our lives". Some believers may refer to it as "irony", "destiny" and other such similar terms. I could call it coincidence, but it just takes away that hint of the mystic which I would prefer to have at least for future story-telling rights on the blog, one way or the other.
Looking Forward
Have you ever experienced that part of your life when the days go by in sweet anticipation of something impending? Nothing seems like a chore, even the most dreary of the jobs get done with lesser effort because you keep telling yourself that event/day/days is just a few days/hours away. Its the time you don't find distraction a pain - it actually motivates you get things done, be super productive because again you tell yourself....soon!soon!.:)
Then the D-day/D-days (if its a vacation/someone visiting etc) finally arrives. And it goes by smoothly. You have fun, loads of it. Then you reluctantly return to whatever it is that you do usually. You have withdrawal effects, hangover of the days, sweet memories, thoughts etc and the next few days go by that way. Then you miss the place/people/person who you were with/who visited you and think about them/him/her. A few days go by like this - you get work done but reluctantly. Then drudgery sets in as usual until something else to anticipate comes up. Then the same story repeats itself again.
Now what`s the whole point of this post? Does it have one in the first place? Well, to say that I haven't experienced the whole gamut of these emotions in a long time (for a good few months) which just means I did not have much to look forward to and with the months of nov-dec, I usually do - (with what the holidays and people visiting me and me visiting others), I hope this year will be no different and keep me motivated and social and keep the strong urge to sink into my shell far away!!
Over & Out
Bugs
Then the D-day/D-days (if its a vacation/someone visiting etc) finally arrives. And it goes by smoothly. You have fun, loads of it. Then you reluctantly return to whatever it is that you do usually. You have withdrawal effects, hangover of the days, sweet memories, thoughts etc and the next few days go by that way. Then you miss the place/people/person who you were with/who visited you and think about them/him/her. A few days go by like this - you get work done but reluctantly. Then drudgery sets in as usual until something else to anticipate comes up. Then the same story repeats itself again.
Now what`s the whole point of this post? Does it have one in the first place? Well, to say that I haven't experienced the whole gamut of these emotions in a long time (for a good few months) which just means I did not have much to look forward to and with the months of nov-dec, I usually do - (with what the holidays and people visiting me and me visiting others), I hope this year will be no different and keep me motivated and social and keep the strong urge to sink into my shell far away!!
Over & Out
Bugs
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