He sighed and looked around his apartment of 5 years. There were boxes piled around him. The packers would be there next morning to pack his belongings. He wondered if that was the only stuff he was taking with him - he realized that whatever else he was carrying along could not be categorized as "things"..................
There was a huge cake in the middle of the room and the guests - their best friends were all present. The cake was a masterpiece of sorts - designed and baked by her and looked absolutely gorgeous. The only thing left was to start the party once he arrived. The doorbell chimed and he walked in, surprise writ large on his face. His face broke into a huge grin as he saw his friends and the cake and the elaborate spread she had so painstakingly prepared. As he proceeded to cut the cake, everyone sang "happy birthday" - there were even a few juvenile characters that wanted to smear cake on his face......
It was past midnight when the last of the guests left after the party. As she was clearing away the dishes and loading the dishwasher, she felt his arms caressing her neck. She felt something on her neck, even after she felt his hands slid off. She ran to the mirror to look and saw a beautiful string of freshwater pearls on her neck. It was one of the happiest days of their life.....
Life hurtled on in breakneck pace, the weeks and weekends were full - full of activities, people and life in general. Work and school took both of them places, which was very exciting - but it took them to different places. Not of the world, but of different places in life. Hopes, aspirations, ambitions and desires ceased being one. She tried hard to make life converge, for both of them. But there was something amiss. And the saddest part was, her anguish was only her own. He longer felt anything - no sorrow, no happiness......
Still slumped amidst the boxes, he was deep in thought - he still felt like he threw it away, he knew it and yet they were not things that could be thrown away. They were memories. And they were all he had now.
In another distant part of the same city, she looked around her now empty living room, before preparing to close the door behind her. Everything was loaded into her moving truck, goodbyes said, things given away.....symbolically she wondered if she was closing the door to her past, leaving it behind forever.
He was shaken out of his reverie by a strange sound - a sound of a door closing softly. And he instantly knew.
*P.S. Trying my hand at fiction. Realized I am not too comfortable crafting plots.
Over and Out
Bugs
Showing posts with label reminisence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reminisence. Show all posts
In a nutshell....
Living,loving,wondering(why on earth I do these two), hoping, praying, wishing, pondering (about the purpose of these three), crying, laughing (for others` sake mostly),ruminating, reminiscing, traveling (down memory lane),hurting,learning,more learning,missing ,realizing,giving(thanks mostly),getting (frustrated and depressed mostly),more realizing, much more learning, feeling (rage mostly), feeling (sadness sometimes),regretting, growing (up mostly,old too),feeling (more rage),feeling (nothing at all),awakening, moving out, moving in, leaving (the past behind), cherishing, treasuring (those who matter so much)and last but not the least, moving on....
.........hereby ending (a long chapter in Bugs` Life).
Over and Out
Bugs
.........hereby ending (a long chapter in Bugs` Life).
Over and Out
Bugs
Return!
Yes!This officially proves that the probability of one`s propensity to do all other stuff other than studying before an exam is indirectly proportional to the time available before the exam. I have seen this happen with me (and others around me) all these years. But today I blog about it because...as I said it is evidence to what has been established and noted in Line 1 above. The blog had been dormant for a good few months (and with good reason) and then saw activity peak with a rant post marking my return; nothing after and then this inexplicable desire to post today.
So I hope that my fingers shall cease to itch to type, and the "write" side of my brain switch mode to my "cram" side. Yeah, a lot to ask for especially since the "cram" switch has been off for a while.
So readers...wish me luck for a first exam in blogosphere light years (yes!!its a new concept of the unit of measurement of time,proposed by Aravind)
More blogging shall happen henceforth. As seen from past (un)published evidence, the desire to blog increases with increase in school work.
Over & out
Bugs
P.S: Note the total technical writing style sampler in the post. Piled Higher Deeper,you see.
So I hope that my fingers shall cease to itch to type, and the "write" side of my brain switch mode to my "cram" side. Yeah, a lot to ask for especially since the "cram" switch has been off for a while.
So readers...wish me luck for a first exam in blogosphere light years (yes!!its a new concept of the unit of measurement of time,proposed by Aravind)
More blogging shall happen henceforth. As seen from past (un)published evidence, the desire to blog increases with increase in school work.
Over & out
Bugs
P.S: Note the total technical writing style sampler in the post. Piled Higher Deeper,you see.
Rebirth.
Call it reincarnation or rebirth or call it metaphysical death of a current life. A new birth whilst life goes on. Hence, rebirth only in certain aspects while others remain. The past life that still lingers with few memories and certain people. The memories are painful but the people are indispensable. The certain few who transcend into the new life, seeing you through the process of rebirth. Like a midwife or a nurse. But there is no mother and no wailing child and no umbilical cord. It has been severed long since.
The past life is just what it means : past. The past life of being a somebody`s corporate monkey, design engineer,a better half,tennis partner,Zumba classmate,gym partner,owner of a car are all going be just that - visions of a past life. But why a past life? Because somethings are meant to be evanescent; or because someone deemed them to be that way and oh-so beyond your control. Because you die trying. In more ways than one and with no avail. Or because it kills you inside. Or because you want to do the right thing.
Starting off on a clean slate. A fresh note. Walking the paths smoothed over by the sands of time. Rocky, but they are paths nevertheless. Sometimes the rocks lead to a cliff or a precipice. You teeter towards the edge and regain balance, mostly. Sometimes, you fall over. You come out bruised but tougher. Certain other times, you fall,you come out after a long time; reborn. There are only bruises to speak of your past life.
But life is not sand or snow to be completely smoothed on and written over. There are remnants of the past life that flash through or strike at times when you least expect it. There is not much that can be done when nostalgia kills. You learn to live the present and move on.
With the past life a haze, the present a daze and future a hope against hope,do you dare hope that the rebirth is indeed a blessing and your reincarnate, stronger?
The past life is just what it means : past. The past life of being a somebody`s corporate monkey, design engineer,a better half,tennis partner,Zumba classmate,gym partner,owner of a car are all going be just that - visions of a past life. But why a past life? Because somethings are meant to be evanescent; or because someone deemed them to be that way and oh-so beyond your control. Because you die trying. In more ways than one and with no avail. Or because it kills you inside. Or because you want to do the right thing.
Starting off on a clean slate. A fresh note. Walking the paths smoothed over by the sands of time. Rocky, but they are paths nevertheless. Sometimes the rocks lead to a cliff or a precipice. You teeter towards the edge and regain balance, mostly. Sometimes, you fall over. You come out bruised but tougher. Certain other times, you fall,you come out after a long time; reborn. There are only bruises to speak of your past life.
But life is not sand or snow to be completely smoothed on and written over. There are remnants of the past life that flash through or strike at times when you least expect it. There is not much that can be done when nostalgia kills. You learn to live the present and move on.
With the past life a haze, the present a daze and future a hope against hope,do you dare hope that the rebirth is indeed a blessing and your reincarnate, stronger?
The year that was(`nt).....
I cannot sit idle; I find it almost impossible. But there are times I dont want to do anything. Nothing at all - no reading, listening to music..nothing. But I still dont want to sit idle. So what do I do? I ponder. I ponder and my thoughts wander. Sometimes on overdrive. But what do I think about? Mostly about my existance and all things around it.
So here I am. At work. Writing this post and talking to some friends about plans tonight. And then I realize its time for the customary "the year that was post". I had almost forgotten about it and coming back to all my rumination, I realized why!Because I had nothing to write about. The year was well...just another year. Apart from my parents visit here (a mere five weeks out of a whole year!),it was a pretty non-happening year. Yes,for once I will focus on myself..it was a non happening year for me. No achievements on the professional front (maybe I learnt stuff,which happens to everybody). Did run a 5K though. But not anywhere close to running shape now. Did not go anyplace interesting...only same old SF..(I love the city, no doubt,but I am OD`ed on it now). One thing I did though...new friend/friends. (Yes!that doesnt happen all the time and actually deserves a mention here. People I got very close to in a small period of time (by my standards)). And for a good part of the year,skewed my own work-life balance pretty bad (something which I am very particular about) and something I had strived to practice right away since the start of my job here. Working all crazy hours even when it wasnt absolutely necessary. One thing though...all said and done, the year ends leaving me feel very old. A strange kind of anachronism where I feel Im much older than one year in just one year??
Happy new year!!!
So here I am. At work. Writing this post and talking to some friends about plans tonight. And then I realize its time for the customary "the year that was post". I had almost forgotten about it and coming back to all my rumination, I realized why!Because I had nothing to write about. The year was well...just another year. Apart from my parents visit here (a mere five weeks out of a whole year!),it was a pretty non-happening year. Yes,for once I will focus on myself..it was a non happening year for me. No achievements on the professional front (maybe I learnt stuff,which happens to everybody). Did run a 5K though. But not anywhere close to running shape now. Did not go anyplace interesting...only same old SF..(I love the city, no doubt,but I am OD`ed on it now). One thing I did though...new friend/friends. (Yes!that doesnt happen all the time and actually deserves a mention here. People I got very close to in a small period of time (by my standards)). And for a good part of the year,skewed my own work-life balance pretty bad (something which I am very particular about) and something I had strived to practice right away since the start of my job here. Working all crazy hours even when it wasnt absolutely necessary. One thing though...all said and done, the year ends leaving me feel very old. A strange kind of anachronism where I feel Im much older than one year in just one year??
Happy new year!!!
Quarter Life Crisis....A.K.A Happy 25th!
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Here I come out of my aestivation for a very goood reason indeed...
"I need a new wardrobe...."
"Iniki seema pasi...oru adi pinna poren" (Loosely translated into english "Very hungry.Im gonna beat the crap outta whats on my plate".)
"Bugs, you know what I mean right........"
.........Damn well I do...Before she even knows what she`s saying!!!
I wont be baking you any cake or making dinner or team up with the guys to smear cake all over, but I do know what I will be doing...
So here goes....
Wishing the greatest Rajmatha (self proclaimed ofcourse)...
A very happy 25th!!!
Wish I was there to celebrate with you!!
Hope you enjoy my double chocolate cupcakes virtually..[:D]!!
Recap 2007...
As I can see that many people are doing their year end reviews in their journals/blogs,let me do mine too. Here goes in no particular order:
My stuff:
1. Finally graduated and got a job!!Hence got a car,and hence moved out of the dorms!
2. My gang moved away..all of us scattered all over as usual.
3. Got one paper published. Two more pending.
4. My roomie of two odd years moved away. Sniff Sob.
5. Met up with friends. SS after 4 years,AG after 3,GH after 4.And M,for the first time (finally) after a few failed attempts.
6. Travelled quite a bit.STL,Chi-town,Califonia,Pittsburgh and the usual suspect - Detroit.
7. Chronic Patellar tilt on my left knee and braces for a couple of months though intermittently.
8. One of my best friends got married. Couple of my married friends are proud mothers.
9. Parents got their US visa.
10. And a new car.
11. P started business school.V started college.
12. P`s mom visited him.
13. I blogged quite regularly.
Stuff that didnt happen:
1. I didnt go home - not that its unexpected. Would have liked to though.
2. No major heartbreak disasters.None broke mine and I didnt break anyone`s. Not like it happens frequently.But its a good thing when it doesnt.
3. Didnt run a marathon. Not even a half. Didnt train for it either.
4. Didnt write a book,didnt win the Pulitzer,did not find a solution for global warming, did nothing worthwhile,infact.
My stuff:
1. Finally graduated and got a job!!Hence got a car,and hence moved out of the dorms!
2. My gang moved away..all of us scattered all over as usual.
3. Got one paper published. Two more pending.
4. My roomie of two odd years moved away. Sniff Sob.
5. Met up with friends. SS after 4 years,AG after 3,GH after 4.And M,for the first time (finally) after a few failed attempts.
6. Travelled quite a bit.STL,Chi-town,Califonia,Pittsburgh and the usual suspect - Detroit.
7. Chronic Patellar tilt on my left knee and braces for a couple of months though intermittently.
8. One of my best friends got married. Couple of my married friends are proud mothers.
9. Parents got their US visa.
10. And a new car.
11. P started business school.V started college.
12. P`s mom visited him.
13. I blogged quite regularly.
Stuff that didnt happen:
1. I didnt go home - not that its unexpected. Would have liked to though.
2. No major heartbreak disasters.None broke mine and I didnt break anyone`s. Not like it happens frequently.But its a good thing when it doesnt.
3. Didnt run a marathon. Not even a half. Didnt train for it either.
4. Didnt write a book,didnt win the Pulitzer,did not find a solution for global warming, did nothing worthwhile,infact.
GBW 9997.....
I was listening to songs from "Baazigar" at work today after a really long time and was instantly transported to '93. Dad had got our first car and I can still recall so vividly how this cassette used to play so incessantly on the "Kenwood" audio system that Maruti used to have. Close contenders in the music played were "Maine Pyar Kiya",Aashiqui,Dil Hai ki Maanta nahin and a lot of ABBA. When I listen to any song from Maine Pyar Kiya,I can see Mahabaleshwar in my mind`s eye!!Thats the first thing that comes to my mind; not even the visuals of movie itself! No wonder I can still recite the lyrics for all the songs of these movies!
Boy!!Talk about nostalgia and association of events...
Boy!!Talk about nostalgia and association of events...
Cheshire Cat Chronicles
You know you had a fun weekend when the hangover (of the weekend, that is!) lasts well into the next week. It’s Wednesday and I am still reliving the past weekend. The withdrawal effects are severe and might need another similar weekend to fade away completely. The “pleasant buzz” (Sorry A! I borrowed that one!) Just refuses to go away. The reason for the pleasant buzz however attributes the pleasant buzz to me! Confused? Never mind! I can’t make sense of it all myself! The weekend, the fun, the whole works and it only felt like meeting a long lost friend and ended up with a gang to boot! Yeah, it’s a small world and I will agree to four degrees of separation, not more!!!Life`s weird? Hell Yeah!!
But its another week, and business as usual and other stuff to look forward to..;)
“Pour some sugar on me…………!!.”
But its another week, and business as usual and other stuff to look forward to..;)
“Pour some sugar on me…………!!.”
Good bye to you- know- who...
The Kings Island-RamSli-Poochi n poochandi-Bhagavan Kuduthuthaan-"Power" lunch club-Sc910 and Mo 210-"theertam" and Popcorn episode-staircase-CoB sessions-Summer of 2006-Sitwells/UDF-Sigma Sigma nites- Bagel Girls-Dairy Queen-The dances-The innumerable cooking and dinner sessions-The gym sessions-The foto shoots-canoe trips-train ride-"The Boss" experience........
To Little joys,sorrows...and everything that was a part of our life
And will cease to be!
To the best punching bag I ever had,
To the best dance partner I ever had,
Wish we could relive these days,
Sadly,we can only replay them (in our mind).
I will miss you terribly,(though I hate to admit it),
Good luck to cooking your own food (and eating it):D!!
Over and out
Bugs
To Little joys,sorrows...and everything that was a part of our life
And will cease to be!
To the best punching bag I ever had,
To the best dance partner I ever had,
Wish we could relive these days,
Sadly,we can only replay them (in our mind).
I will miss you terribly,(though I hate to admit it),
Good luck to cooking your own food (and eating it):D!!
Over and out
Bugs
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