Confessions of a Confused Mind.

When I saw him this time around in India, he looked the same from what he did 8-9 years ago. The same muscular frame, the same rugged look. He was on the other side of the road, I dont think he saw me. Even if he did, he might not have recognized me. After all, I was one of the many in his life......

The year was 1999-2000. I was a slightly plump, highly impressionable teenager, excited to start college. As I went by as usual on MG road one day,I happened to pass by this new place. It was a new business and something drew me to it so strongly. There was a sudden magnetic pull and I found myself walking in through the door. And there he was behind the desk. The pull was so strong that I felt a chill go through my spine. He welcomed me in and started talking to me. But he had a frown on his face. "But you are so young...are you sure? I am used to older women".

The experience was exhilarating. He was experienced, strong and undoubtedly very skilled. Every time it was a new high. I now experienced the weakening at the knees, total breathlessness, and a fluttering heart everytime. I also saw levels of exhaustion that I hadn't seen before (at least in the first couple of times!!!). I came back glowing and happy. I was looking better than before with each time. Friends,family,people started noticing it and remarked on how much better I looked.

But all things change. His business picked up. He got busy. He did not have as much time for us. As days went on, I still saw and spoke to him but he was preoccupied with his growing business. So I started looking for others. We still met, but there was nothing like before. One day, I thought I had found someone else...and told him so. He did not seem so upset...so I left him. I did call him a few weeks later, but he was very busy. I called again later but he now had a secretary and she said he would call me.But he did not. I put him behind me and moved on. But I still thought about him.

After him I went through Raj, K and even Sarala. Then later in the US there were other women - Misty,Nicole,Karen,Viola and Jackie. Viola came the closest to being as good as him. She got me going as much as he did. But it was very shortlived. I had to move and there was no way she was going with me. I thought I had found the perfect one after years. Alas!!!

They were all wonderful in their own ways but none close to my first gym instructor - Sekhar. He got me started on working out, the basics, the warm ups, the cool downs, aerobics... the whole works! I am grateful to him for instilling the interest in me.

What were you all thinking? Time to pick your minds up off the gutter...:P.

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