ROTFLOL!!!!!

Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a grape?

A: A grape is purple.


Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a grape if you are color blind?

A: When you step on a grape, you get wine.


Q: What did the grapes say when the elephant stepped on them?

A: Nothing. They let out a little whine.


Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?

A: "Look, there’s a herd of elephants in the distance"


Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?

A: Nothing. He couldn’t crack the disguise.


Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance with sunglasses?

A: "Ha ha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"


Q: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?

A: "Look! A herd of grapes in the distance" (She was color blind)


Q: How do you get four elephants into a Taxi?

A: Two in the front, two in the back.


Q: What game do four elephants in a taxi play?

A: Squash


Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?

1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.


Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?

1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.


Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?

A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.


Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?

A: When it is rather hard to close the door.


Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?

A: There'll be one waiting outside in the Taxi.


Q: How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge?

A: By the footprints in the butter.


Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?

A: There's a taxi parked outside it.


Q: How do you get 8 elephants in a fridge?

A: Put four in a taxi, four in another taxi, put the two taxis in the fridge. If a fridge can hold two elephants, it can hold two taxis!


Q: How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?

A: Open door, get two taxi's out, put Tarzan in, close door.


Q: How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?

A: You can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO


Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?

A: You can't, stupid! There is only one Tarzan!


Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?

A: The fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.


Q: How do you get an elephant out of the water?

A: Wet.


Q: How do you get two elephants out of the water?

A: One by one.


Q: Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles?

A: So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard.


Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a bowl of custard?

A: No! Well, it must work then!.


Q: Why do elephants live in herds?

A: To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.


Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?

A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?


Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?

A: Have you ever tried to iron one?



Q: How many legs does an elephant have?

A: Four, two in the front, two in the back.


Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?

A: Chicken's day off.


Q: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?

A: About 5 mph.


Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?

A: Optimistic!


Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?

A: Free Parking.


Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?

A: Sole use of the elevator.


Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?

A: It's bike is outside.


Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?

A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.


Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?

A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.


Q: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?

A: To sneak across a pool table unobserved.


Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?

A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.


Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?

A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.


Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?

A: So that they don't sink in the sand.


Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?

A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear sandals.


Q: How do you make a dead elephant float?

A: Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tons of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tons of bananas...


Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?

A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.


Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?

A: Parachute him from an airplane.


Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?

A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.



Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?

A: From stamping out forest fires.


Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?

A: From stamping out flaming ducks.


Q: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?

A: To fit on lily pads.


Q: Why isn't it safe to go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon?

A: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.


Q: Why are frogs so short?

A: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.


Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?

A: They're all on the same team.


Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed?

A: He has a big 'E' on his pajamas jacket pocket.


Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?

A: Take away his credit card.


Q: Why do elephants have trunks?

A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.



Q: How many elephants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, but you need a real big bulb.


Q: What has two tails, two trunks and five feet?

A: An elephant with spare parts



Q: What's grey and puts out forest fires?

A: Smokey the Elephant.


Q: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?

A: You can’t see the movie!


Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?

A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.


Courtesy: Hari,lots of other places,newspaper cartoons,old issues of Gokulam.